Family is Everything

Written and Posted by: Margie Babon   Our greatest inspiration in life is our family—parents, siblings, wife, husband, niece and nephews even our grandparents. Not only the biological family but also true More »

Flower Pattern and Mandala in Sweet Potato

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Understanding People

Written and Posted by: Margie Babon   When looking at people is like trying to look at a pair of slipper with hundred varieties of style and of color. All look similar More »

Forgive Others for not Being Kind

Written and Posted By: Margie Babon    To understand people of how they act and misbehave is the kindest thing we do to ourselves. I repeat, it is the kindest and most beautiful More »

Continue that Dream! Happy 2017!

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Small Note

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Smile Don’t Cost a Thing

Written and Posted By: Margie Babon “Good morning ma’am,” the lady security guard says to the staffs of women who pass by at the x-ray security machine at the entrance of a More »

“Seeking for an Answer”-Personal Experiences about Religion

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Real, True, and Pure

Written and posted by: Margie Babon   Be blessed when you are able to find real, true, honest, and pure people. They are very seldom to find and rare to come into More »

Category Archives: Men and Women

Ideal Man

Written and Posted By: Margie Babon

 

 

As a woman, do you still believe that there is such thing as ideal man? With how many losses you gain from trying to find a true love, do you still have the interest to pursue in finding that ideal man? Or perhaps those ideal men you are looking for only exist in your illusion and you are now giving up finding one.

With a lot of boys out there that you meet from grade school to college until you get job, I am pretty sure you notice that men have different varieties like women who have different attitude and character yet have common denominator with each other. There are silent, joker, loud, annoying, proud, kind, humble, etc. There are boys at early childhood who are social even to girls and there are boys that are timid and shy and only want to be friends with other boys. With the different characteristics of them, can you still remember how you started to admire one of the boys in your class? Are you attracted by intelligent, by his talent, by his cute and handsome face, by his sweetness on sharing his food to yours, or how he makes you laugh, etc.

As young girls, we easily get attracted with the physical features of boys like tall, dark, handsome, and other common factor of being intelligent and talented. And as we grow older, these characteristics of a man that we are looking for also change. Of course there is still at least even ten percent of face value and the ninety percent remaining is the character, of the personality that almost a mirror of who we are or at least embody the type of the man that we are dreaming of.

As a woman, sometimes I cannot avoid to have envy to the partners of my male friends whom I know for so long with their honesty, respect and faithfulness when it comes to women. I consider them very lucky to have my male close friends that are truly kind, hardworking, loving and responsible.

So, what are the factors that we are looking for when it comes to ideal man that each woman is dreaming of to be as lifetime partner? Here are some features that are in my list though I know these are personal yet I see it as universal.

  • Faithful. A man will never ever leave his partner no matter what the circumstances are. Through hardship and obstacles, this man will support you and will always be there for you to show more of his faithfulness. He will stay with you and making you safe and sure that there are no other women involved. In fact, they are not interested with other women except with only you.
  • Responsible. A true man will protect his tribe by being a provider to his family. Though women are also working to earn and support the family, I still believe that it is the man that must lead to raise his family. I salute men out there who are generous to their wife especially if the partner is only a plain house wife who takes charge of the household chores while taking care of the kids. These men understand that women needs money to buy something for themselves and their partner are giving them without any anger or guilt. These housewives are lucky to find men who help them to secure them financially. There are men out there who are rude with their partner when it comes to money that even a single penny they don’t want to give it to their wife who is so tired of doing household chores and feeding the kids. This is how being responsible is connected to the word generosity.
  • Loving. Though there is such huge difference of character between men and women, all are being understood and accepted once they are committed to be with each other. A loving man can never ever hurt a woman physically and most emotionally by doing things that can hurt her partner. No matter how heavy the arguments could be, there is always understanding and forgiveness of each other. Giving respect to a woman is the most loving character of a man and this is through honesty and loving kindness.
  • Patient. Women are talkative and sometimes nagger that men must understand and accept. A man who is patient to his partner is a man who carries unconditional love. He has this loving kindness to stay with his partner no matter how hard the situation could be. No matter how difficult relationship is, this man will stay with you to listen through the years and will always have the patient to love you more that will deepen you partnership. He is patient to understand your changing moods and personality.
  • Honest. A man of honesty is a man of virtue and this is very true especially with men. Because men are not talkative and they don’t reveal everything about them, still, a woman knows whether a man is truly honest or not. Honesty is the loveliest characteristic of each individual and very crucial in marital relationship. A man who is honest and transparent to his partner is very admiring because not all people are honest. And this characteristic in men is truly a gem if you find one you are truly lucky in love.
  • Kind. Without faithfulness, honesty, love, patience, generosity and responsibility there is no kindness because kindness wraps it all. A man who is truly kind will accept everything about you no matter how you look and regardless of your physical attributes. These types of men will love you unconditionally because of your pure heart and loving soul that their heart has been seen. They love everything about you. Everything!
  • Understanding and Supportive. When you have found a partner, still, each of you has individual dream that you want to pursue and to find a man who will help you to build your dreams, understands and supports what you want, you are truly lucky to have him because he wants you to grow, to improve your potentials and help you to be the best that you can be.

Though some men are born polygamous and cannot be contented with a single woman, still there are men out there who are truly admirable who are faithful to only one woman in their entire life. Have faith that the ideal man in your thoughts truly exists and that it will manifest in the right time.

I know it is tough and challenging to find a faithful one who is not a player but then never give up, carry huge faith that this desire will become real according to the blessings that you want to have and achieve.

 

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection. –Thomas Paine

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. –Franz Schubert

 

Image: courtesy of Google

 

 

If a Person Truly Love You

Written and Posted By: Margie Babon

 

 women-men-first-dating

 

To find a person or make them appear to love us and accept us unconditionally is not in our own control.  If you believe in destiny that we meet people not by coincidence but for a purpose, then your belief is the same in finding true love.

I must admit this; my journey in finding real and true love is hard and tough. Like other single woman out there, I still dream of finding a faithful man who will put the ring on and will spend the rest of his life with me. But then life is ironic that most of my experiences when it comes to relationship with men are all hurt and pain.  None is successful. I once become trapped, get confused, and have given a lot of effort and wear high gear of tolerance just to fake the relationship because I love them and even bending down my pride just to stay.  But then, the universe is wise and loving, there is always circumstances coming to help me get out of it. When the pain is too heavy to carry and I gain too much  confusion though I keep asking to tell me honestly the answer to my questions, and still they doesn’t want to reveal it, that is the time I have to go and leave for good.

Though I haven’t found a faithful man yet, still I do believe that all relationship must always be transparent without hiding from one another. I have encountered four men already and did try to share my pure intention but sad to say, all of them have common denominator—“players”. They are players  of words giving empty promises, making me believe that they love me  back but then they are no different with Casanova’s and Don Juan. Though they are highly intellectual (which I am attracted to),they love to play games with women, they like flirting while you’re hoping everything is okay. When you bumped into this kind of a man, as a woman, expect no empathy from them when they hurt women.  Though they show love, it is only petty.

If you are single or already in a relationship, I want to share my insights on how to know if the person you are in love with is honestly and truly love you. Though these are based on my personal experiences and observations, I know you have your own wisdom and lessons aside from what I have written.

The purpose of sharing this is to somehow serve this as a guide to people who want to fall in love again and who wants to seek for new love.

 

1. Truly Honest. At the beginning of the relationship or if you are in the stage of getting to know each other, you can sense the honesty of each other. As emotional human being, we have this mysterious feeling that we can sense if there is something wrong in the situation especially women who are highly intuitive.  At the beginning of the relationship, say you know each other for a month and so then there is still fog that you cannot understand this person and seems there is a mask of not revealing who she/he really is, I advise you to step back and be cautious. Set parameters and control your emotions of falling in love especially to women who trust easily. Because if at the beginning they don’t want to reveal and be honest about themselves, it only means they are hiding something that they don’t want to share it with you even how patiently you will wait. And they will keep telling you to trust them yet you can still feel there is something wrong.  If you are in this situation like this, trust your gut and intuition, step back and think it over if this person truly deserve your honesty or not.

 

2. Truly Faithful. Good intention always reveal no matter how people hide it. Attached to the word “true” is the word “loyalty”  that no matter what happens, the person who loves you back will never ever hurt you and they stay faithful not only through their words but in action. No matter what the distance or any issue of not being together for the moment, the person who honestly love you will never entertain himself/herself by seeking the attention of others, by looking at others to flirt with, by dating others and this mean they are not cheater. They will not waste time to get involved with others for sexual pleasure or even looking at other women online, flirting women online. Their eyes are focused on you and they don’t get bothered and never show interest no matter how many people they meet along the way.

If you are at the stage of getting to know the person or on the stage of courting  and this person show interest on you, giving you attention, telling how special you are yet he/she is entertaining others, she has interest with others, flirting with others, step back and get off because there is dishonesty already. If a person loves you back, they will never sail on two rivers. This is very common with men flagging the reasons of, “I am not yet courting you,” or “I am just courting you and we are not yet into a relationship,” and yet they are still flirting, showing interest on others which is stupid. You do not know where you stand, that if they like you, why they’re having interest with others. They are making you believe they are authentic yet they have others involved secretly.

Take it from me, if you encounter a person like this, back off, don’t waste your emotions and time because he/she will only give you hurt and pain as the relationship goes by. Though they keep on saying “I will change for you,” but then they cannot change that attitude because it becomes a habit that is already wired in their brain. And if they change, there must be a strong force to change them and that will only come from within them not from others.

 

3. Not a player of words. Women are weak when it comes to men and we easily believe on what they say. I know it is such a fool but then, because we want to be loved and to give love, by believing on what a man is saying is a process of building trust to them that what they say are real. But then, as days goes by, weeks, months even years, you realized, among the promises and word have said, none becomes real.

Had an  experience of this, because I was so innocent and didn’t know that the trending when it comes to online of meeting a person is more about being flirt to attract the opposite.  Because of that innocence, I become a victim. Have met different kinds of Don Juan online and what I observe, they are fast to call you  “honey,” “babe,”  “darling,” considering you just met them two days ago. In short, I met some people who are truly flirting virtually.  They know how to attract you, impressing you how highly intellectual they are, they put a lot of charm thru’ their words, they know how to communicate within the level of your experiences from your past relationship and in return, you feel comfortable with them. They keep saying, “Just trust,”Just wait,” but while you are waiting, they have other women they are dating with. As a woman who is hoping for their promises, you look like a fool waiting for nothing.

If you feel that a man is flirting on how he is saying his words, be careful and take it slow in falling in love, analyze, be logical, unless you want to enjoy being flirt and play the game.

 

4. They prove that they love you by taking actions. Words without action are delusion. If a person truly loves you, they take an action to prove it. They do everything to make their promises real. In this way, they become trustworthy and deserve to be cared and loved.

I did encounter a man who believes in the philosophy that “a real man knows how to wait” and there is no problem with that. But there is always an exemption.

So here I was, I hold on to his promises but then its’ been more than two years that I am into this illusion and wearing high tolerance because I don’t know if I have to wait for him to express how he feels but then he is open in dating different womenand I don’t know where to stand. And when I asked him to clarify it because I want to end the illusion as I am tired of this difficult situation, he never even bothers to tell it to me straight on what is his intention. Though I know he is analyzing me carefully, but for how long will I wait, it’s been more than two years already? And I am not a fortune teller to know everything. Girls don’t have a clue unless a man tells it straightforward.

As I realize my situation and thinking it over and over, the truth I am seeking surfaces that, “this guy never ever loves me truly.” That I was trapped in his illusions and he only wants me to wait, to hold on, and to be in that foggy state of mind.  Though I put a lot of effort  and it comes to the point that I am insisting myself because I want to know the truth on who I am to him, but then I failed, still, he is a puzzle and doesn’t want to reveal the real him. So I decided to leave for good and it was a great relief.

 

5. They cannot hurt you and never make you jealous. Very well said and this is very true, if a person truly loves you back, always remember this, “they cannot ever hurt you.” They are careful not to hurt you but they will pursue actions to make you happy.  They do things that will make your relationship stronger and full of love. They also will not make you jealous of other women whom she is connected with.

Girls, don’t be such a fool. If a man is making you jealous and too proud of other women who are adoring him or connected on him or hooked on him by showing to you the pictures of these women one by one, making you jealous and pushing you to get insecure, step back and forget this man. He is into this habit of collecting beautiful women that he needs in order to feed his ego. Remember this, a gentleman and real man will never ever allow seeing a woman in hurt and in pain emotionally and mentally by making the woman jealous and comparing her to others.

 

6. They don’t want to lose you. A person who truly loves you back will always be there and will never ever leave you no matter what. They want you to stay and they will do everything to make your relationship work out harmoniously. They are faithful to their words and true to their actions and they really care about you. They think of you in a bigger picture and value you and include you in fulfilling their dreams.

Though  misunderstanding cannot be avoided, people who love you truly will never ever let you go and never allow you to leave the relationship. Instead, they will only argue on you but they will never ever leave you.

 

7. They put an effort to be with you. If someone honestly loves you, they will find a way to see you in person, to be with you that you don’t need to keep insisting yourself. They will spend time with you in reality and not in the virtual illusions of online chatting. No matter how far they will be coming from, if they truly love you, they will put an effort to appear in front of you. They will exert an action to see you and enjoy the moment to be with you because they believe that to be with you is a priceless joy that they can ever have. They know how to value you and to value the relationship they have invested with and that value will make the relationship flourish and grow

 

Trusting someone to share our love with is risky—–risk of time, energy and emotions… and if we are lucky to find one, that is a real blessing. But if we are unlucky and we are trapped in a pit of hurt, confusion, and darkness, we must realize to put our attention and priority toward our self, to love our self and give the respect it deserves by cutting those hurt.  If love in the relationship is not progressing, if the relationship you are involved with doesn’t make you grow, doesn’t make you move forward, doesn’t make you happy and doesn’t bring clarity, instead of getting upset and taking the hurt, release that love that you are investing and give it back to yourself.

Falling in love feels good if you are in love with the right person. Finding true love is very tough and difficult though it is easy to others. We want to find someone who can be an equal of who we are in which I believe this is the biggest reason why it is difficult to find our match, because we want to find a partner who is a mirror of who we are. But none in this world is a duplicate of each one of us that is why it is such difficult to find the ideal partner. I would rather believe in the saying that, “if you truly love the person, you will accept everything about him no matter how contradictory he/she is to you. And that is what you call unconditional love.” 

We are here on this planet to give unconditional love even to those who doesn’t deserve it  and never ever expect to receive real love from others because it will only cause us hurt, grief and pain. If it is being offered to us, then we should be happy of how much love they have given and be contented with that.

Though difficult it may seem I still believe that there is someone who is worthy of our time, effort, love, and energy that will never ever hurt our emotions and will never ever be a burden to us mentally.

When confusion arises in the relationship, always hold on to the truth in your heart, listen to your own intuition, ask for guidance within that silent space, and ask for signs, symbols, and guidance, and the answer you’re looking for will be there to help you out. We are all loved and divinely guided by the universe. Always choose to love yourself than getting hurt.

Never ever make regrets of people we have met especially those who hurt us. Keep in mind; it happened for spiritual reasons, for a higher sacred purpose though we do not know the exact intention. The lessons we get from every relationship whether winning or losing teaches us always to be tough and strong but still carrying a soft heart to give love. We must not hate those who hurt us but accept everything that happens to us and see it in a perspective that it is for our very best and the only thing we can do always is to move forward. We also must forgive our self and others so that we will enjoy the present moment and ignore the past and see the future in greater kindness and greater love.

I do believe that a loving relationship is not foggy but always transparent, the energy is light and not heavy to carry and no thought of if’s and doubts and most it brings out the best in you that will help you to discover and understand who you truly are because that discovery of the“true self” will sustain the relationship to make it flowing within the energy of pure, true, honest, and harmonious love.

 

“I love my husband very much. I knew it was real true love because I felt like I could be myself around that person. Your true, true innermost authentic self, the stuff you don’t let anyone else seem if you can be that way with that person, I think that that’s real love.” –Idina Menzel

“True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” –Ricardo Montalban

“Life is a game and true love is a trophy.” –Rufus Wainwright

“Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it’s a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.” –Gwendoline Christie

 

 

 

Why Do Men Keep Flicking Through the Channels with the Remote Control?

 

man_with_remote

 

Remote control:

noun, female: A device for changing one TV channel to another;

noun, male: A device for scanning through 55 channels every 2.5 minutes.

 

For thousands of years, men would return from the hunt at the end of the day and spend the evening just gazing into the fire. A man would sit in this trance-like state among his friends for long periods without communicating, and the other men made no demands on him to speak or participate. For men, this was a valuable form of stress relief and a way to recharge their batteries for the next day’s activities. For modern men, fire-gazing still occurs at the end of the day, but now involves tools like newspaper, books, and remote controls.

Male-channel changing is a pet hate of women everywhere. At the end of the long day, women like to relax by becoming involved in a television show, especially any series involving human interaction and emotional scenes. Her brain is organized to read the words and body language of the actors and she likes to predict outcomes of relationship scenarios. She also enjoys watching the commercials. For men, however, watching the television is a completely different process, done to satisfy two impulses. Firstly, having a solution-oriented, problem-solving brain, he is interested in getting at the bottom line as quickly as possible. By flicking through the channels, he can analyze the problems in each programme and consider the solutions needed. Secondly, men like to forget about their own problems by looking at someone else’s, which explains why six times as many men watch the TV evening news bulletins as women. Since his mind can only do one thing at a time, by looking at other people’s problems and not feeling responsible for them, he can forget about his own worries. It therefore becomes a form of stress relief like surfing the internet.

A woman needs to understand that a man’s fire-gazing is his way of relieving stress, and that she should not take it personally. When he talks, he talks about one thing at a time. Her multi-tracking brain allows , past, present and future, all simultaneously.

A man needs to understand that a woman needs to talk about things without reaching solutions in order to relieve the stress she’s feeling.

 

Men don’t want to know what’s on television; they want to know what else is on television.

 

—————————–

Source:

Excerpt from the book Why Men Lie and Women Cry by Allan & Barbara Pease

Image courtesy of Google images

 

 

Brain-Wiring Test

Posted By: Margie Babon

brain-male-female

Are you curious on how your brain is wired that dominates your thoughts and action?

Here is a simple but  fascinating test that can help to show which brain is wired for masculine or feminine thinking. The questions have been developed by British geneticist Anne Moir and been collated from how many leading studies on human brain sexuality. In this test, there are no right or wiring but will give you interesting insights on why you make such choices and how you think the way you do. At the end of the test you can see the result with the score that you make.

Though this test is not further discussed scientifically, according to the studies conducted in this test,  almost 90% belong to the female gender are wired for mainly female behavior and only 10 percent wired to a masculine abilities. While 80-85% of males have mainly wired to male brains and 15-20 percent have brains that are feminized and most of these group are gay.

The aim of this test is to indicate the masculinity or femininity of your brain patterns. The result is just an indication of the probable level of male hormone your brain may or may not. And this male hormone dose you received was started from six to eight weeks after conception, male hormones that is reflected in your own preference when it comes to values, style, behavior, orientation and choices.

To get started, take a sheet of paper and write down your answer in each corresponding number.

 

1. When it comes to reading a map or street directory you:

a. Have difficulty and often ask help

b. Turn it around to face the direction you’re going

c. Have no difficulty reading maps or street directories

 

2. You’re cooking a complicated meal with the radio playing and a friend phones. You:

a. Leave the radio on and continue cooking while talking on the phone

b. Turn the radio off, talk and keep cooking

c. Say you’ll call back as soon as you finished cooking

 

3. Friends are coming to visit and ask for directions to your new house. You:

a. Draw a map with clear directions and send it to them, or get someone else to explain how to get there

b. Ask what landmarks they know, then try to explain to them how to get there

c. Explain verbally how to get there: “Take Main Street to the second traffic light. Turn left go three blocks…”

 

4. When explaining an idea or concept, you are more likely to:

a. Use a pencil, paper, and body language gestures

b. Explain it verbally using body language and gestures

c. Explain it verbally. Being clear and concise

 

5. When coming home from a great movie, you prefer to:

a. Picture scenes from the movie in your minds

b. Talk about the scenes and what was said

c. Quote mainly what was said in the movie

 

6. In a movie theater, you usually prefer to sit:

a. On the right side

b. Anywhere

c. On the left side

 

7. A friend has something mechanical that won’t work. You:

a. Sympathize and discuss how she feels about it

b. Recommend someone reliable who can fix it

c. Figure out how it works and attempt to fix it

 

8. You’re in an unfamiliar place and someone asks you where north is. You:

a. Confess you don’t know

b. Guess where it is, after a bit of thought

c. Point toward north without difficulty

 

9. You’ve found a parking space but it’s tight and you must reverse into it. You:

a. Try to find another space

b. Carefully attempt to back into it

b.  Reverse into it without any difficulty

 

10. You are watching TV when the telephone rings. You:

a. Answer the phone with the TV on

b. Turn the TV down and then answer

c. Turn the TV off, tell others to be quiet, and then answer

 

11. You’ve just heard a new song by your favorite artist. Usually you:

a. Can sing some of the song afterward without difficulty

b. Can sing some of it afterward if it’s really simple song

c.  Find it hard to remember how the song sounded but you might recall some of the words

 

12. You are best at predicting outcomes by:

a.  Using intuition

b.  Making a decision based on both the available information an d”gut feel”

c. Using facts, statistics, and data

 

13. You’ve misplaced your keys. You:

a. Do something else until the answer comes to you

b. Do something else but keep trying to remember where you put them

c. Mental retrace your steps until you remember where you left them

 

14.  You’re in a hotel room and you hear the distant sound of a siren. You:

a. Can point straight to where it’s coming from

b. Can probably point to it if you concentrate

c. Can’t identify where it’s coming from

 

15. You go to social meeting and are introduced to seven or eight new people. The next day you:

a. Can easily picture their faces

b. Remember a few of their faces

c. Are more likely to remember their names

 

16. You want to go to the country for vacation but your partner wants to go to the beach. To convince him or her that your idea is better, you:

a. Explain sweetly how you feel: you love the country, and the kids and family always have fun there

b. Say that if they go to the country you’ll be grateful and will be happy to go to the beach next time

c. Use the facts: the country resort is closer, cheaper and well organized for sporting and leisure activities

 

17. When planning your day’s activities, you usually:

a. Write a list so you can see what needs to be done

b. Think of the thing you need to do

c. Picture in your mind the people you will see, places to visit and things you’ll be doing

 

18. A friend has a personal problem and has come to discuss it with you. You:

a. Are sympathetic and understanding

b. Say that problems are never as bad as they seem and explain why

c. Give suggestions or rational advice on how to solve the problem

 

19. Two friends from different marriages are having a secret affair. How likely are you to spot it? You:

a. Would spot it very clearly

b. Would pic it half the time

c. Would probably miss it

 

20. What is life all about

a. Having friends and living in harmony with those around you

b. Being friendly to others while maintaining personal independence

c. Achieving worthwhile goals, earning other’s respect, and winning prestige and advancement

 

21. Given the choice, you would prefer to work:

a. In a team where people are compatible

b.  Around others but maintaining your own space.

    c. By yourself

 

22. You prefer to read:

a. Novels

b. Magazine and newspapers

c. Nonfiction and autobiographies

 

23. When you go shopping, you tend to:

a. Buy on impulse, particularly the special

b. Have a general plan but take it as it comes

c. Read the labels and compare costs

 

24. You prefer to go to bed, wake up and eat meals:

a. Whenever you feel like it

b. On a basic schedule but you are flexible

c. At about the same time each day

 

25. You’ve started a new job and met lots of new people on the staff. One of them phones you ate home. You:

a. Find it easy to recognize his voice

b. Recognize it about half the time

c. Have difficulty identifying the voice

 

26. What upsets you when arguing with someone?

a. silence or lack of response

b. refusal of inability to see your point of view

c. probing challenges and comments

 

27. In school, how did you feel about spelling tests and writing essays?

a. Found them both fairly easy

b. Were generally okay with one but not the other

c. Weren’t very good at either

 

28. When it comes to dancing or jazz exercise routines, you:

a. Can “feel” the music once you’ve learned the steps

b. Can do some exercises or dances but get lost with others

c. Have difficulty keeping time or rhythm

 

29. How good are you at identifying and mimicking animal sounds?

a. Not very good

b. So-so

c. Very good

 

30. At the end of a long day, you usually prefer to:

a. Talk to friends or family about your day

b. Listen to others talk about their day

c. Read a paper, watch TV and not talk

 

 

How to Score the Test

First, add the number of A.B and C responses and use the following table to get the final result.

 

For Males

Number of A’s  x  10 point =  _________

Number of B’s  x   5 points=   _________

Number of C’s  x  (-5) points= _________

Total points = _________

 

For Females

Number of A’s  x 15 points=  _________

Number of B’s  x   5 points=   _________

Number of C’s  x (-5) points = ________

Total points= ________

 

For questions you left blank, that you are not accurate with your answer or indecisive to answer it or not, award yourself 5 points.

 

Result Analysis

Most males score 0-180 and most females score 150-300. Brains that are wired for masculine thinking score below 150. The closer to 0, the more masculine they are which means the higher the testosterone level likely to be. These people demonstrate strong logical, analytical, and verbal skills and tend to be disciplined and well organized. The closer the score at 0, the better they are at projecting costs and planning outcomes for statistical data. The lower the score of a woman, the more likely she is to have lesbian tendencies.

Brains that are wired for mainly feminine thinking score higher than 180. The higher the number, the more feminine the brain is, and the more likely the person is to demonstrate significant creative, artistic and musical talents. These people will make of their decisions based on intuition or gut feeling and are good at solving problems using minimal data. Above 180 or higher for a man, the greater the chance he is gay.

Males who score below 0 and women above 300 have brains that are wired so oppositely.

Scores between 150 and 180 show compatibility of thought for both sexes, they did not show any bias for either male or female thinking and usually demonstrate flexibility in thinking. They have predisposition to make friends with both men and women.

 

<To share my score, I got 115. Now I am really convinced that I am wired with my father’s brain aside that my index finger is shorter than my ring finger which suggest as alpha female. The reason why my technical profession fits me.

Share your score by putting comments in the box below. Happy weekend everyone and enjoy this fun brain-wiring test.

 

“Our minds influence the key activity of the brain, which then influences everything; perception, cognition, thoughts and feelings, personal relationships; they’re all projection of you.”- Deepak Chopra

 

Brain Wiring Test from Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps by Barbara and Allan Pease

Image courtesy of :  http://www.thehealthsite.com/news/brain-scans-reveals-how-men-and-women-are-wired-differently/

 

About

margie-blog pic-final 21oct

Margie Babon was given a privilege to become a wildlife photographer in 2006 that let her choose to be a vegetarian for seven years now. Has background in film making as a producer and researcher on the plight of Agta-Dumagat documentary film Children of the Mountains that garnered the 2005 Mark Haslam Awardee  in Toronto, Canada. Sharing her passion in photography, drawing & creative writing  is a great opportunity to express her wisdom which is beyond academic teaching career for more than five years in College of Architecture and School of Fine Arts.

 

Understanding Men and Women Differences

Written and Illustrated By: Margie Babon

 

men and women differences

 One of the most interesting subject to learn with  is to know more about men and women character and behavior. Men and women are truly different from each other and to deeply understand the differences will help the two opposite sex to create a harmonious and better relationship.

 

 1.    Going to school

Girls at the young age bring a lot of things in school like lunch box, baby powder, small towel, cologne, tumbler, etc. aside from books and notebook. Boys on the other hand can go to school with a pen and a single notebook.

 

 

2.    Going to the office

Notice that women going to the office have a huge bag to fit the make-up, perfume, organizer, tumbler, umbrella, etc. They also carry a lunch box aside from a huge bag which makes them look complicated.

 

“I can’t understand why women bring a lot of stuff in their bag and then time to time they keep opening it, checking it. What is inside the woman’s bag?”  My boss told me this while I am arranging my stuff in my huge bag.

On the other hand, men can survive by just bringing himself to the office.

 

 

 3.    After office

Women are born as the chief of the house when it comes to household. No wonder when a woman comes from the office, aside from her huge bag she has, she also brings a lot of stuff that her family  needed like food, fruits, groceries, etc. Women before going home pass by the grocery store or market. Since women can handle different thoughts simultaneously, she is thinking of what will be the dinner for her family while talking to her friend over the phone.

 

Men will bring some for the family like bread, fruits, etc. unless their mother, wife or kids tell them to do so. Men doesn’t like to carry a lot of stuff going home, the reason they would rather get wet in the rain than to bring an umbrella or a raincoat.

 

 

4.    Going out

“Mom, dad and I are waiting for an hour, you’re not ye finish, will be late!” Is this sound familiar? –Yes, women do a lot of things before leaving home that takes an hour. Aside that they have to put make-up, they will make sure that the house is organized and clean, making sure there is food in the fridge when they get home. The stuff they need to bring, say for a picnic or going out to meet family, friends or relative is well prepared. No one to blame on this kind of attitude of women, it is innate that women taking care of other details in the house before leaving, the reason why house mates are waiting to forever for us to be finally ready to leave.

 

On the other hand, men are sitting like a Rodin sculpture while waiting for women, unless women will ask help to prepare some stuff they need to bring.  Women complained, “you are just sitting there!“Ladies out there, most of the women I encounter keep telling that “men are lazy” when it comes to household.  It is not laziness, but it is the natural behavior of men, that is how the male brain is assembled to be. They are not meant to do household chores unless you tell them to do so, they cannot even change diaper of your baby. Remember, during Neanderthal times that people living in the cave,  men are hunter, they exist to protect the family and secure with the food they hunt while women are taking care of the kids and cook the meat they bring home. 

 

 

5.    Handwriting

Most of the women have beautiful handwriting which means “easy to read.” This is connected on how they talk as well. Writing is also talking. Women have master’s degree in communication; men should understand that emotions are the way how women communicate. It is incorporated in the female brain to express words with emotions. The reason why women has a lot of empathy compare to men who suppress emotions and put a mask on their face. 

 

Men on the other hand have small, tiny or ugly handwriting unless they are engineers which have training in engineering handwriting.  Handwriting of men cannot easily understood, some looks like a symbol or a drawing, the main reason, men are not for communication. Men are visual and the way they write is a reflection of how they communicate—silent, private, keeping things to themselves and mysterious.

Even at school, notice that boys hates to write really long. They summarize it as much as possible jotting only important details. 

handwriting-man

handwriting-woman clear and concise

 

 

 6.    Sending email

While getting older, women can lead to PhD when it comes to communication.  Women can write really long email no matter how many hours it will take her, pouring out her emotions. And this is a curse to men, most men are complaining, “Why women are sending email really long?” Compare to men, men write in few big words replying “Ok, Thanks, Got it.”

 

email sample

 

 

7.    Accessories

When it comes to beauty, it is about women. The reason why women are great customer, women need a lot of things, they wear a lot of accessories: earrings, necklace, bracelet, ring (hands and toe), watch, perfume, hat, scarf, shawl, lipstick and make-up, etc.. Even the mobile phone has its own accessories aside from their pets.

 

Men can live with a belt and a watch as accessories, no make-up or anything but still can attract opposite sex easily.

 

 

 8.    Shoes

Ask women out there, most of the women prefer sandals showing open toes than the closed one. This is connected with the nature of women, women are open to everything, and she communicates well. Compare to a man who wants to wear rubber shoes or closed shoes that denotes how men are very private when it comes to communication.

 

I have written a separate article about the character of men and women that is a mirror of how they choose the shoes that they wear, the article entitled: Men’s close shoes; Lady’s wedge, boots, flats, sandals, high heels, mule, slides, doll shoes, etc.

Link:  http://www.hyperkreeytiv.com/mens-close-shoes-ladys-wedge-boots-flats-sandals-high-heels-mule-slides-doll-shoes-etc/

 

 

9.     Clothes

Illustrated below is the clear differences of men and women. Women have different clothes and dress in different occasion and time of the day. She can change clothes  four to five times a day when she starts her day with sports, then change to daily wear, then change to a dress when meeting friends or attending a special occasion and lastly, her evening lingerie.

Men and women clothing

Simplicity is the word to define men. They can survive going out for a beach in just on one or two pair of clothes. No wonder they can bring a small back pack when going out of town for a vacation. Women everywhere in the world have always a huge luggage for a vacation, always!

when women and men pack for a vacation

 

10.   Facial expression

Because women are good in communication, she is able to imitate the emotions of the speaker or the person she is talking with.  Here are the different facial expressions of a woman in a 10-second listening approach.

women's facial expression

 

Men listen like a statue. Men accuse women as emotional because of her facial expressions aside from talking too much, remember,  men are visual; men do not express their emotions even when listening, they show similar facial expressions when they are angry, sad, and happy, surprise, etc., This is the reason why women accuse men that they don’t listen because women rely on the body language including facial expression. Men have strong emotions like women but they do not want to show it, hiding it as much as possible.

 

Here is the facial expression of a man in a 10-second listening approach:

men's facial expression

 

 

11.   Calling friends & others

Since women are good in communication, they build rapport and relationship compare to men. Women call their friends and other people thru’ their name, to let them feel special, to gain trust and build a relationship. Men are playful, they call their  male friends in funny names and different aka’s.

 

 

12.   In  public places

When you observe women eating together or sitting together at the restaurant, one thing you will say is, “they are so noisy!”  Women are talkative compare to boys who say few words and have a face like a statue that do not react too much. Unless there are girls in the group that will make men talk loudly and bring humor and noise.

 

You will notice the natural character of women in being loud and talkative when they are with each other as a group can be traced at the early childhood playing with other  girls at the young age of 6, while in school starting at the 4th grade until even freshmen in college.  When girls are sitting in circle in the classroom talking about their project, each of them is expressing emotions, opinion and you will have difficulty to point out who among the girls is the leader because everyone is talkative.

So when both men are in the coffee shop, it always looks like they are having serious meeting, both are silent and no showing of any signs of emotions.

 

 

13.   Visual periphery

 

Man: “Honey, I really can’t find the butter.”

Woman: “It is just there beside the jam.”

Man: “I really can’t find it.”

Woman:  “Just look at it, you’re not looking properly.

Man: “But I really can’t find it.”

Woman: “Use your eyes and not your mouth. If that butter is a snake, it almost bites you.” (Yelling and irritated)

 

Is the conversation sounds familiar?

Women must understand that the visual periphery of a man focuses only in one direction which is connected on how men thinks—a man thinks and focuses on a single matter one at a time. If you will inject different subject and topics while talking to a man, he will get confused, he will get lost.

 

Women think simultaneously, even when she is at work, she keeps thinking of her kids, her husband, her friends, parents, etc. And this is connected on the visual periphery of women that they can notice a lot of things. Women look into a wide perspective and can notice a lot of things while men look only in a single focus direction like a horse with a blinder.

Illustrated below is the visual border of a man focusing on a one direction. He might not even notice that there is a cat sleeping at the left side of the counter or the flower vase on top of the fridge.

men's limited visual border

 

women can see everything

 

14.   Sixth Sense

Women have very strong intuition or sixth sense because women communicate with emotions, the main reason why a lot of psychic out there are women.

A husband cannot easily lie to his wife when going home late at night. Women can sense if there is something wrong with the person, she can feel the emotions of the person aside from the body language and voice intonation she is focusing with.

 

 

15.   Listening

A woman has the ability to hear the baby crying in the late night while her husband is not. This is the natural character of a woman to take care of the baby by having sharp ears to hear even weak sound.

Notice when there is a noisy cat in the neighborhood, a woman can hear in a distance the meowing of the cat  while the man can point out the direction of where the sound comes from. Women have sharp listening skills while men are visual.

 

 

16.   Asking a question

Men and women are also different in asking a question, I created a separate article about this entitled: “Women Prefer Not to Ask, Men prefer to be asked.”

link: http://www.hyperkreeytiv.com/women-prefer-not-to-ask-men-prefer-to-be-asked/

 

 

Note: Not all men are like this, some pointers are applied in general and some are not, which depends on circumstances and different situations when it comes to men and women. 

 

Credits:

Reference for the item no. 10 and 13 from the Peas couple, author of the book “Why Men Don’t Listen and Women can’t read map”

Handwriting courtesy of my sister Cecil De Omampo

 Cartoon on “How Men and Women Pack” and image insert of a man and a woman courtesy of Google images.

 

Women Prefer Not To Ask, Men Prefer To Be Asked

Posted by: Margie Babon

couple-model

Asking is the beginning of receiving.- Jim Rohn

In any relationship whether in family, friends, at work and any organization, asking for support and giving assistance and help is essential to the success and happiness of the relationship.

While in marital relationship, asking for support from wife or spouse is crucial to deepen love and expand vulnerability of one another. ‘Though both men and women have difficulty in asking for support, the tendency of frustration and disappointment in asking help is always with women.

Men are attracted to independent women.  Simply because most women do not ask for help and support not only within the family but even at work. Since women are emotional and feel a lot including the needs of others, they act voluntarily and automatically in showing love, support and care.

Often people and the society easily conclude that when it comes to household chores, women are automatically in-charge of it while the husband will take the finances. But in these modern days that both genders are practicing equality in earning individually, household chores are being distributed.  But even if men also play roles in household chores, it runs in the blood and instinct of women to take care of the spouse and kids when it comes to preparing food and cleaning the house. And these household chores often what makes women frustrated with men in asking their spouse’s some support to do the dishes, clean the yard and empty the trash.

To understand more why women do not ask and men prefer to be asked, here’s an excerpt from the book Men from Mars, Women from Venus written by Dr. John Gray that will aid unaware women to know more of the underlying behavior of men when it comes to asking help. On the other hand, this is also a relief to men to deepen their understanding of women.

 

Why women don’t ask

Women make the mistake of thinking they don’t have to ask for support. Because they intuitively feel the needs of others and give whatever they can, they mistakenly expect men to do the same. On Venus, everyone automatically gives support, so there was no reason to ask for it. In fact, not needing to ask is one of the ways they show their love for one another.

On Venus, their motto is “Love is never having to ask.”

Because this is her reference point, she assumes that if her partner loves her, he will offer his support and she won’t have to ask. She may even purposefully not ask as a test to see if he really loves her.

This approach to relationships with men doesn’t work. Men are from Mars, and on Mars if you want support you simply have to ask. Men are not instinctively motivated to offer their support, they need to be asked. This can be confusing because if you ask a man for support in the wrong way he gets turned off, and if you don’t ask at all you’ll get little or none.

He doesn’t realize she is expecting him to give back. He thinks that if she needed or wanted more she would stop giving. But since she is from Venus, she not only wants more but also expects him to offer his support without being asked. But he is waiting for her to start asking for support if she wants it. If she is not asking for support he assumes he is giving enough.

Men do not respond well to demands and resentment. Even if a man is willing to give support, her resentment or demands will lead him to say no. Demands are a complete turnoff.

 

What Women Should Avoid in Asking

Women should avoid indirect questions that make a man feel taken for granted and unappreciated.

 

Ex. of indirect request:

What she should say (brief and direct)  “Would you bring in the groceries?”

What she should not say (indirect)  “The groceries are in the car.”

What he hears when she is indirect:  “It’s your job to bring them in, I went shopping.”(expectation)

 

What she should say (brief and direct)  “Would you empty the trash?”

What she should not say (indirect)  “I can’t fit anything else in the trash.”

What he hears when she is indirect: “You haven’t emptied the trash. You shouldn’t wait so long.” (criticism)

 

What she should say (brief and direct)  “Would you clean up the backyard?”

What she should not say (indirect)  “The backyard is really a mess.”

What he hears when she is indirect: “You didn’t clean up the yard again. You should be more responsible, I shouldn’t have to remind you.” (rejection).

 

What Men Want to Be Asked

To women there is not much difference between the words “could you” and “would you?” In fact, “could you” may even seem more polite than “would you?” But to many men, it is a big difference.

Here are comments from different men on how they interpret the word “could you?” from women.

  1. When she says “I need your help. Could you please help?” it sounds critical, like somehow I have already failed her. It doesn’t feel like an invitation to be the good guy I want to be and support her. On the other hand, “I need your help. Would you please carry this?” sounds like a request and an opportunity to be the good guy. I want to say yes.
  2. I resent being asked “Could you.” I feel like I have no choice but to say yes. If I say no she will be upset with       me. It is not a request but a demand.
  3. I grew up with five sisters, and now I am married and have three daughters. When my wife says, “Can you bring out the trash?” I just don’t answer. Then she asks “why?” and I don’t even know. Now I realize why. I feel             controlled. I can respond to “would you?”
  4. I will say yes to a “can you,” but inside I resent her. I feel that if I say no she will throw a fit. I feel manipulated   When she asks “Would you,” I feel free to say yes or no. it is then my choice, and then I want to say  yes.
  5. When a woman asks me “Would you do this?” I feel assured inside that I am going to get a point for this. I feel     appreciated and happy to give.
  6. When a woman says “Could you do this for me?” I get kind of honesty and say “I’d rather not.” The lazy part of   me comes out. But when I hear a “Would you please?” I become creative and start thinking of ways to help.

 

How to relate with the word “Could”

One way women are sure to relate to the significant difference between would and could is to reflect for a moment on this romantic scene. Imagine a man proposing marriage to a woman. His heart is full, like the moon shining above. Kneeling before her, he reaches out to hold her hands. Then he gazes up into her eyes and gently says, “Could you marry me?”

Immediately the romance is gone. Using the c word he appears weak and unworthy, he reeks insecurity and low self-esteem. If instead he said “Would you marry me?” then both his vulnerability and strength are present. That is the way to propose.

Similarly, a man requires that a woman propose her requests in this manner. Use the w words. The c words sound too untrusting, indirect, weak and manipulative.

 

Mistakes of Women in Asking Men

Women ask help of too indirect, or too lengthy and employ phrases such as “could you” or “can you.”

To ask man for support:

  1. Be brief
  2. Be direct
  3. Use “would you” or “will you” phrases

Martians hear something else if the question is indirect and when using the word “could you.”

 

 

Model Image: Couple  Maria Luisa Manalo and Willie Hernandez. 2013

 

 

About the Author

Margie Babon was given a privilege to be a wildlife photographer in 2006 that let her choose to become a vegetarian for seven years now. Has background in film making as a producer and researcher on the plight of Agta-Dumagat documentary film Children of the Mountains that garnered the 2005 Mark Haslam Awardee  in Toronto, Canada. Sharing her passion in photography, drawing & creative writing  is a great opportunity to express her wisdom which is beyond academic teaching career of more than five years in College of Architecture and School of Fine Arts.

 

 

 

Men’s Close Shoes; Lady’s Wedge, boots, flats, sandals, high heels, mule, slides, doll shoes, etc.

Posted by: Margie Babon

shoes

“Yesterday,  I did a general cleaning of the house. My wife has a lot of shoes and bags that most has price tag on.  I can’t understand why women love to collect shoes and bags. With more than five closets of shoes, I throw half of those unused, it is damaged anyway.”  -male boss

I always hear a lot from my female friends and folks that they have a lot of shoes. Even at the office, a lot of female worker stock a pile of shoes underneath their workstations.  Belonging to female alliance, it will be hypocrite of me not to admit that I also have a lot of shoes.  I know, 20-pair of shoes is really a lot!  But wait, my sister, who is older than me, has dozens and dozens of shoes compare to mine. I even remember her 6-layer shoe rack with a width of more than a meter compare to her husband’s shoe rack that is just one-fourth the size of her rack. Once, I did try to count her pair of shoes, it is more than fifty pairs. While the husband has 2 close shoes, 2 rubber shoes and 2 slippers.

My cousin once visited the house of my sissy and saw her huge shoe rack. “It’s a shoe store!” she screamed.

Out of curiosity, I can’t avoid thinking of this, “Why women love shoes?” or perhaps, this question is also appropriate, “why women love to collect slippers?”    For I know some women who love to collect half-dozen Havaianas in different colors which is not unusual.

This general behavior of women of collecting different shoes versus of man makes me understand more that men and women are really different from one another.

Is collecting of shoes has something to do with male and female brain, on the way they think, act and behave?

Based on my observation, here are the reasons why women love to collect shoes.

  • Different style of shoes different looks in accordance  to the event,  place and season
  • Women love variety aside from colors
  • For trend or in style
  • Shoes make a woman feel good
  • A woman can never wear the same shoes everyday (based on my experience, it also goes with the energy of the woman, that this energy is being left on the shoes.  Say if you are exhausted from work, the next day you wear the same shoes, you can feel that exhausting and tiring energy, so switching of shoes and slipper feels better).
  • quality over quantity (for some rare women who has only of five shoes or less)

And here’s what is interesting, seeing women in the different type of shoes is a display of their behavior of how they feel towards themselves.

  • High heels shows power but it can really hurt so there should be flats as alternate, meaning more shoes to collect
  • To feel desirable, sexy and hot
  • A shoes can make woman sexy even fat, esp. if the footwear is a slipper or sandals exposing more of the fingernails and feet
  • A lady is defined by the shoe she wear

And for men,

  • Men buy shoes of what they need and always go for simplicity
  • Men can wear the same shoes almost everyday
  • Though men have also variety of shoes depending on the event, place and weather, but in general, they like simple looks of the shoes.

Observe the list, women has a lot of reasons compare to men. Laughs!

I don’t know the exact reason why other women love to collect hundreds of pair of shoes. Is it because women’s brains are complex?

Do shoes represent two different behaviors of men and women? Or style and preferences has to do with the genital?  If we compare women and men’s genital, men has a simple shape while on women, it has a lot of details.

That,

Men’s close shoes- is very masculine, shows having firm decision; they are not open to everything; they even write in a very short sentences compare to women that writes in paragraph.

Women’s sandals-   showing or exposing the whole parts of the feet represents femininity  an “openness” of feelings and emotions. Women love to talk and think of everything.  The details and style in women’s shoes symbolizes that women are very good in details and complex things.

Whatever the reason, we wear shoes to make us feel comfortable.

And here’s the two interesting meaning of wearing shoes.  In the old traditions of India, shoes represent standing position in life and status. So when they go inside the temple barefooted, everyone is equal. While in Buddhism, feet represent mobility, foundation, independence and freedom.

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.” ? Marilyn Monroe

 

The differences between men and women can become a blessing if it is being managed harmoniously.

Imagine a relationship in which each partner is very similar in every aspect. At first, it might be pleasing to have a partner who understands everything and have the very same interests with us. But eventually, it will be felt dull, predictable and boring.

It’s those differences that will make our lives worth living.

To end this article, here are some funny lines about men and women.

 

Why men are happier:

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt or NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocketknife.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

 

Whatever the differences whether in behavior, attitude and character, men and women are created to compliment with each other.

And to understand more of women’s and men’s differences, here’s a very funny video from Mark Gungor’s “A Tale of  Two Brains”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVogrnAO28E

 

 

About the Author

Margie Babon was given a privilege to be a wildlife photographer in 2006 that let her choose to become a vegetarian for seven years now. Has background in film making as a producer and researcher on the plight of Agta-Dumagat documentary film Children of the Mountains that garnered the 2005 Mark Haslam Awardee  in Toronto, Canada. Sharing her passion in photography, drawing & creative writing  is a great opportunity to express her wisdom which is beyond academic teaching career of more than five years in College of Architecture and School of Fine Arts.

 

 

 

 

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