If a Person Truly Love You

Written and Posted By: Margie Babon

 

 women-men-first-dating

 

To find a person or make them appear to love us and accept us unconditionally is not in our own control.  If you believe in destiny that we meet people not by coincidence but for a purpose, then your belief is the same in finding true love.

I must admit this; my journey in finding real and true love is hard and tough. Like other single woman out there, I still dream of finding a faithful man who will put the ring on and will spend the rest of his life with me. But then life is ironic that most of my experiences when it comes to relationship with men are all hurt and pain.  None is successful. I once become trapped, get confused, and have given a lot of effort and wear high gear of tolerance just to fake the relationship because I love them and even bending down my pride just to stay.  But then, the universe is wise and loving, there is always circumstances coming to help me get out of it. When the pain is too heavy to carry and I gain too much  confusion though I keep asking to tell me honestly the answer to my questions, and still they doesn’t want to reveal it, that is the time I have to go and leave for good.

Though I haven’t found a faithful man yet, still I do believe that all relationship must always be transparent without hiding from one another. I have encountered four men already and did try to share my pure intention but sad to say, all of them have common denominator—“players”. They are players  of words giving empty promises, making me believe that they love me  back but then they are no different with Casanova’s and Don Juan. Though they are highly intellectual (which I am attracted to),they love to play games with women, they like flirting while you’re hoping everything is okay. When you bumped into this kind of a man, as a woman, expect no empathy from them when they hurt women.  Though they show love, it is only petty.

If you are single or already in a relationship, I want to share my insights on how to know if the person you are in love with is honestly and truly love you. Though these are based on my personal experiences and observations, I know you have your own wisdom and lessons aside from what I have written.

The purpose of sharing this is to somehow serve this as a guide to people who want to fall in love again and who wants to seek for new love.

 

1. Truly Honest. At the beginning of the relationship or if you are in the stage of getting to know each other, you can sense the honesty of each other. As emotional human being, we have this mysterious feeling that we can sense if there is something wrong in the situation especially women who are highly intuitive.  At the beginning of the relationship, say you know each other for a month and so then there is still fog that you cannot understand this person and seems there is a mask of not revealing who she/he really is, I advise you to step back and be cautious. Set parameters and control your emotions of falling in love especially to women who trust easily. Because if at the beginning they don’t want to reveal and be honest about themselves, it only means they are hiding something that they don’t want to share it with you even how patiently you will wait. And they will keep telling you to trust them yet you can still feel there is something wrong.  If you are in this situation like this, trust your gut and intuition, step back and think it over if this person truly deserve your honesty or not.

 

2. Truly Faithful. Good intention always reveal no matter how people hide it. Attached to the word “true” is the word “loyalty”  that no matter what happens, the person who loves you back will never ever hurt you and they stay faithful not only through their words but in action. No matter what the distance or any issue of not being together for the moment, the person who honestly love you will never entertain himself/herself by seeking the attention of others, by looking at others to flirt with, by dating others and this mean they are not cheater. They will not waste time to get involved with others for sexual pleasure or even looking at other women online, flirting women online. Their eyes are focused on you and they don’t get bothered and never show interest no matter how many people they meet along the way.

If you are at the stage of getting to know the person or on the stage of courting  and this person show interest on you, giving you attention, telling how special you are yet he/she is entertaining others, she has interest with others, flirting with others, step back and get off because there is dishonesty already. If a person loves you back, they will never sail on two rivers. This is very common with men flagging the reasons of, “I am not yet courting you,” or “I am just courting you and we are not yet into a relationship,” and yet they are still flirting, showing interest on others which is stupid. You do not know where you stand, that if they like you, why they’re having interest with others. They are making you believe they are authentic yet they have others involved secretly.

Take it from me, if you encounter a person like this, back off, don’t waste your emotions and time because he/she will only give you hurt and pain as the relationship goes by. Though they keep on saying “I will change for you,” but then they cannot change that attitude because it becomes a habit that is already wired in their brain. And if they change, there must be a strong force to change them and that will only come from within them not from others.

 

3. Not a player of words. Women are weak when it comes to men and we easily believe on what they say. I know it is such a fool but then, because we want to be loved and to give love, by believing on what a man is saying is a process of building trust to them that what they say are real. But then, as days goes by, weeks, months even years, you realized, among the promises and word have said, none becomes real.

Had an  experience of this, because I was so innocent and didn’t know that the trending when it comes to online of meeting a person is more about being flirt to attract the opposite.  Because of that innocence, I become a victim. Have met different kinds of Don Juan online and what I observe, they are fast to call you  “honey,” “babe,”  “darling,” considering you just met them two days ago. In short, I met some people who are truly flirting virtually.  They know how to attract you, impressing you how highly intellectual they are, they put a lot of charm thru’ their words, they know how to communicate within the level of your experiences from your past relationship and in return, you feel comfortable with them. They keep saying, “Just trust,”Just wait,” but while you are waiting, they have other women they are dating with. As a woman who is hoping for their promises, you look like a fool waiting for nothing.

If you feel that a man is flirting on how he is saying his words, be careful and take it slow in falling in love, analyze, be logical, unless you want to enjoy being flirt and play the game.

 

4. They prove that they love you by taking actions. Words without action are delusion. If a person truly loves you, they take an action to prove it. They do everything to make their promises real. In this way, they become trustworthy and deserve to be cared and loved.

I did encounter a man who believes in the philosophy that “a real man knows how to wait” and there is no problem with that. But there is always an exemption.

So here I was, I hold on to his promises but then its’ been more than two years that I am into this illusion and wearing high tolerance because I don’t know if I have to wait for him to express how he feels but then he is open in dating different womenand I don’t know where to stand. And when I asked him to clarify it because I want to end the illusion as I am tired of this difficult situation, he never even bothers to tell it to me straight on what is his intention. Though I know he is analyzing me carefully, but for how long will I wait, it’s been more than two years already? And I am not a fortune teller to know everything. Girls don’t have a clue unless a man tells it straightforward.

As I realize my situation and thinking it over and over, the truth I am seeking surfaces that, “this guy never ever loves me truly.” That I was trapped in his illusions and he only wants me to wait, to hold on, and to be in that foggy state of mind.  Though I put a lot of effort  and it comes to the point that I am insisting myself because I want to know the truth on who I am to him, but then I failed, still, he is a puzzle and doesn’t want to reveal the real him. So I decided to leave for good and it was a great relief.

 

5. They cannot hurt you and never make you jealous. Very well said and this is very true, if a person truly loves you back, always remember this, “they cannot ever hurt you.” They are careful not to hurt you but they will pursue actions to make you happy.  They do things that will make your relationship stronger and full of love. They also will not make you jealous of other women whom she is connected with.

Girls, don’t be such a fool. If a man is making you jealous and too proud of other women who are adoring him or connected on him or hooked on him by showing to you the pictures of these women one by one, making you jealous and pushing you to get insecure, step back and forget this man. He is into this habit of collecting beautiful women that he needs in order to feed his ego. Remember this, a gentleman and real man will never ever allow seeing a woman in hurt and in pain emotionally and mentally by making the woman jealous and comparing her to others.

 

6. They don’t want to lose you. A person who truly loves you back will always be there and will never ever leave you no matter what. They want you to stay and they will do everything to make your relationship work out harmoniously. They are faithful to their words and true to their actions and they really care about you. They think of you in a bigger picture and value you and include you in fulfilling their dreams.

Though  misunderstanding cannot be avoided, people who love you truly will never ever let you go and never allow you to leave the relationship. Instead, they will only argue on you but they will never ever leave you.

 

7. They put an effort to be with you. If someone honestly loves you, they will find a way to see you in person, to be with you that you don’t need to keep insisting yourself. They will spend time with you in reality and not in the virtual illusions of online chatting. No matter how far they will be coming from, if they truly love you, they will put an effort to appear in front of you. They will exert an action to see you and enjoy the moment to be with you because they believe that to be with you is a priceless joy that they can ever have. They know how to value you and to value the relationship they have invested with and that value will make the relationship flourish and grow

 

Trusting someone to share our love with is risky—–risk of time, energy and emotions… and if we are lucky to find one, that is a real blessing. But if we are unlucky and we are trapped in a pit of hurt, confusion, and darkness, we must realize to put our attention and priority toward our self, to love our self and give the respect it deserves by cutting those hurt.  If love in the relationship is not progressing, if the relationship you are involved with doesn’t make you grow, doesn’t make you move forward, doesn’t make you happy and doesn’t bring clarity, instead of getting upset and taking the hurt, release that love that you are investing and give it back to yourself.

Falling in love feels good if you are in love with the right person. Finding true love is very tough and difficult though it is easy to others. We want to find someone who can be an equal of who we are in which I believe this is the biggest reason why it is difficult to find our match, because we want to find a partner who is a mirror of who we are. But none in this world is a duplicate of each one of us that is why it is such difficult to find the ideal partner. I would rather believe in the saying that, “if you truly love the person, you will accept everything about him no matter how contradictory he/she is to you. And that is what you call unconditional love.” 

We are here on this planet to give unconditional love even to those who doesn’t deserve it  and never ever expect to receive real love from others because it will only cause us hurt, grief and pain. If it is being offered to us, then we should be happy of how much love they have given and be contented with that.

Though difficult it may seem I still believe that there is someone who is worthy of our time, effort, love, and energy that will never ever hurt our emotions and will never ever be a burden to us mentally.

When confusion arises in the relationship, always hold on to the truth in your heart, listen to your own intuition, ask for guidance within that silent space, and ask for signs, symbols, and guidance, and the answer you’re looking for will be there to help you out. We are all loved and divinely guided by the universe. Always choose to love yourself than getting hurt.

Never ever make regrets of people we have met especially those who hurt us. Keep in mind; it happened for spiritual reasons, for a higher sacred purpose though we do not know the exact intention. The lessons we get from every relationship whether winning or losing teaches us always to be tough and strong but still carrying a soft heart to give love. We must not hate those who hurt us but accept everything that happens to us and see it in a perspective that it is for our very best and the only thing we can do always is to move forward. We also must forgive our self and others so that we will enjoy the present moment and ignore the past and see the future in greater kindness and greater love.

I do believe that a loving relationship is not foggy but always transparent, the energy is light and not heavy to carry and no thought of if’s and doubts and most it brings out the best in you that will help you to discover and understand who you truly are because that discovery of the“true self” will sustain the relationship to make it flowing within the energy of pure, true, honest, and harmonious love.

 

“I love my husband very much. I knew it was real true love because I felt like I could be myself around that person. Your true, true innermost authentic self, the stuff you don’t let anyone else seem if you can be that way with that person, I think that that’s real love.” –Idina Menzel

“True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” –Ricardo Montalban

“Life is a game and true love is a trophy.” –Rufus Wainwright

“Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it’s a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.” –Gwendoline Christie

 

 

 

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